Have you ever pondered about what makes you feel truly accomplished everyday? Just a few weeks ago, I was reading a book which asked me to precisely define my career. I always thought that it was a very simple task to do. On the contrary, in that very moment, I felt quite hesitant to define it. Instead, I asked myself, 'Why did I even choose to study or do research in mathematics ?'. And why do I like pursuing my other hobbies and interests with equal passion. There must be a common thread that makes me do whatever I do, with so much dedication and passion. I rephrased this question for myself: 'Sadiah, what drives you to do whatever you do every single day ?'. This was an important part of who I am and it was extremely important for me to discover what lead my desire to do things in life. It wasn't my career, my family, my finances or anything external, it's something truly amazing that must be completely inside me. And then I found my answer: Intellectual fulfilment.
Intellectual fulfilment is a deep sense of satisfaction that arises from utilising ones intellectual capacities to the fullest extent. I have an innate desire to challenge my mind and push my boundaries of knowledge and abilities. I am not just saying these things for the sake of filling in the blanks. As I keep narrating my life experiences, I will emphasise all experiences that landed me to this answer.
Intellectual pursuits and personal growth stimulate a positive emotional response in me. This fosters my self-efficacy - my belief in my ability to succeed in a challenging task. This also explains why I was absorbed in a subject like mathematics. The challenge of problem solving promised intellectual rewards. However, discovering 'my drive' to do things awakened me to think that it wasn't limited to just things I have been doing. I could utilise it as a power to pursue new challenges. This was just one step into discovering myself.
We are often mistaken that we know ourselves very well. If you think so too, can you tell me precisely what drives you to do whatever you do? What drives you to be in the career you are? Was it really a conscious choice?.
Sadiah Z.
Always wanted to know who I am? why do I do things I do? since last one year I am seriously working on it and on this path of self discovery I am discovering amazing things, it seems layers upon layers need to peeled, certain discoveries leave me astonished and then I remember Rumi who said whatever man is finding outside is inside him. Life has become easier and light since I started treading this path. Slowly and steadily I am understanding my interests, my passion, the things that give me energy and am trying to pursue them without guilt, without paying heed to what others say. In this process of self discovery, I have become gentler with myself and…